My Wife’s Monster

A short tale of how a dream was affected by the real world, or vise versa.

My wife and I lived in the three flat house in Chicago owned by her Aunt. In case you’re as ignorant as I was a three flat is a three story three family home. Each level is an apartment. We lived in the basement apartment. In our bedroom above the bed was our window. It was a small basement window on the side of the house and if you unsecured the latches there was nothing holding it in place. So either the window stayed closed or we pulled it from the window frame.

The heating unit for the for the entire house was also in the basement. Chicago winters are cold but our room was hot; and not in the good way. Removing the window was not an option the room would become too cold and the heating bills too high. We came up with a way to rig the window partially open. We were able to sleep comfortably with this set up.

On this one particular fateful night I was in the midst of a weird dream. Someone, whom I do not remember, was explaining to me that a monster protected my wife. I thought this was ridiculous. So I said “I wish a monster would…” I was hit in the head from behind, hard. I really felt it, the pain radiated down from the top of my head to fill my entire skull. I even felt it in my sinuses.

Then my wife woke me up and it was jarring. I couldn’t make out everything she was saying. Something about the curtain which I then noticed had fallen. So I stood and started putting it back up. So tired and disoriented was I that I hadn’t notice the cold draft slamming my entire torso. It wasn’t till my wife pointed it out that I realized I was standing on the window. I then replaced the window and curtain and went back to sleep.

The next morning I went into the bathroom and carried out my usual morning routine. While using the sink I noticed a gash on the top of my head. It was not too long maybe a half inch and not a deep wound either just a little sore and puffy. I knew when I saw it what had happened. The window was the dream monster that gave me a good knock on the head.

Back in the room my wife noticed a small spot of blood had soaked into my pillow and was already dried. She pointed it out to me  and I explained to her about the dream. We figured out that the window wounded me. I was expecting a little sympathy and the babying that would accompany it. That however, would have been out of character for my wife. She laughed her ass off and ran upstairs to tell everyone else.


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